So What Is This “Fun” Thing Supposed to Be, Anyways?

I can’t recall the reason this incident came into my mind, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. At my previous job, there was a coworker there that was rather, shall we say, abrasive. He was constantly making comments that struck me in quite an uncomfortable manner. One of those, the one in particular that I’ve been mulling over, is the meaning of one simple word.

Fun.

‘You should come out with us and do something actually fun for once!’  Or even better: ‘If it weren’t for your husband, you would go out and have “a good time” more often!’ (These are in paraphrase, of course.)

The question remains, though: what actually is fun, and who are you (a person who thinks you do, but doesn’t actually know me whatsoever) to decide what I should think of as fun? Isn’t fun a subjective word, given meaning in context by the individual referencing it?

From a typical American perspective, the “fun girl” is the outgoing one that goes out dancing, goes to the bar, gets drunk, lives by the whole YOLO (“You only live once.”) thing, and likes to “have a good time”. Those are the same sorts of girls that get just drunk enough while they’re there to make out with other girls because this is somehow attractive to men — not to mention it’s also something that I very much morally object to.

Because that’s what this coworker in particular told me should be my idea of fun, and he couldn’t even begin to understand that “going out and having a good time” is not at all my idea of a good time. Not only that, but he implied that I would actually have more “fun” if I ditched my own husband to do it!

Sorry there, buck-o, but that’s not how I operate.

What if my own idea of a good time is a quiet walk in the park with my family (yes), a hike in the woods (double yes), or going fishing, even if I don’t actually fish, because it’s so peaceful and relaxing?

YES PLEASE!

Am I not entitled to be my own person? Am I not entitled to find things fun that aren’t stereotypically considered fun? What’s more, can I not find things fun that aren’t necessarily outgoing in nature?

Could I even, perhaps, find curling up on the couch with a good book in a thunderstorm and reading by candlelight far more “fun” than going out to a bar and watching a bunch of half-drunk people make fools of themselves?

What if I’m not outgoing at all and I would really just prefer to do something by myself?

My point is…I don’t know why people are always so dead-set on subjecting others to their personal opinion of what activities and events constitute fun.

Yes, this is a real “introvert problem”. And I’m really, truly fine with being one.

So please, for the love of God, stop trying to fix me.

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Memorial Day…

War sucks. We all know this. Most of them are built on lies and justified by the same. Less people know that particular truth. I’m not going to go into a whole huge thing about politics and how much war sucks. This isn’t the proper time for it.

Yes, war sucks. But to me, that doesn’t mean we should look down upon the people that fought in those wars. I have tremendous respect for people who would put their lives on the line for something they thought was right…even if it turned out to be based on a lie.

My hope is for healing for those who did not die, those who awoke to the truth of what our governments were making them do. They were trying to do the right thing. So very often, the governments do not. On Memorial Day here in the US, it’s not about the government. It’s about the men and women that gave their lives (either literally or figuratively) doing what they felt was right.

So, here’s to all those soldiers, doing what they think is best, their families and loved ones either mourning their passing or struggling with the grief of an awakened soul.

May you all find peace.

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Why This Name?

I think the number one most difficult thing about deciding to start a blog is figuring out what to name it. One can have all the ideas for posts, how one wants the blog to look and act physically…but that dreaded name. What to do?

Well, here’s how I came up with my blog name, which is incidentally also my internet handle various places across the internet (although not all, lest I be confused with someone else).

I’ve always been a spiritual person. I’m always thinking and searching about topics revolving around spirituality and theology. This is one of the most important aspects of my personal life. So when I decided that I needed a new internet handle that said something about who I was as a person, I came up with viridiansoul. Why?

Viridian. The perfect blending of my top two favorite colors: green and blue (in that order!). This is what it looks like:

Lovely, isn’t it?

Yeah, I thought so, too.

But let me go into why green and blue are my two favorite colors.

There’s something very fascinating about color psychology. I’ve always been very interested in how colors effect people’s moods, because I’ve found that to be the case very much with me. It’s part of the reason why I became so interested in seasonal color analysis (which I may or may not ever end up talking about on this blog in particular). I could see from a very early age that different colors make me feel different things.

So what does color psychology have to say about the colors green and blue?

The color green is the color of balance,
harmony and growth

This is the color of balance and harmony. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium between the head and the heart.

From a meaning of colors perspective, green is also the color of growth, the color of spring, of renewal and rebirth. It renews and restores depleted energy. It is the sanctuary away from the stresses of modern living, restoring us back to a sense of well being. This is why there is so much of this relaxing color on the earth, and why we need to keep it that way.

Green is an emotionally positive color, giving us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. A natural peacemaker, it must avoid the tendency to become a martyr.

It loves to observe, and therefore relates to the counselor, the good listener, the social worker. It loves to contribute to society. It is the charity worker, the good parent and the helpful neighbor.

All of these things are reasons why green particularly is my number one favorite color. Color psychology isn’t hokey superstition. There’s a basis in real science. Green makes me feel wonderful!

And blue? Well, here you go:

The color blue is the color of trust and responsibility

This color is one of trust, honesty and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved and quiet, and doesn’t like to make a fuss or draw attention. It hates confrontation, and likes to do things in its own way.

From a color psychology perspective, blue is reliable and responsible.

This color exhibits an inner security and confidence.

You can rely on it to take control and do the right thing in difficult times.

It has a need for order and direction in its life, including its living and work spaces.

This is a color that seeks peace and tranquility above everything else, promoting both physical and mental relaxation.

It reduces stress, creating a sense of calmness, relaxation and order – we certainly feel a sense of calm if we lie on our backs and look into a bright blue cloudless sky. It slows the metabolism. The paler the blue the more freedom we feel.

Both green and blue are colors that have meanings which express my personality very well. If you’re into Myers-Briggs Personality Typing, I am an INFJ. Most of those INFJ traits (cognitive functions) are expressed through both these colors.

I like to express these traits deep down into my soul, and feel that they express the same. This may be an idealistic vision of myself, or simply something I strive to be. I don’t know for sure.

I just know that this handle, viridiansoul, expresses the whole of myself as I see me. And through these associations, I hope that others may be able to see my inner self, as well.

(Source: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/ )

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Kicking This Thing Off!

So interestingly enough, I’ve held onto this blog name since 2012. I’ve never done anything with it, but that’s about to change. I read a great post this morning by another blogger I follow (found here) which talked about creating a blog as a ministry. Now…I’m not really into the whole ministry thing (this may be discussed in a later post), but it sure did get me thinking.

And then I recalled that I had a wordpress blog, so I popped on over. After a few tries getting my password to work, &c., well. Here we are!

I’ve started a lot of blogs in the past, and they’ve always sort of fizzled out after a little while. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve either A- tried to keep my blog too focused (as in, on one particular subject and excluding all else), or B- far too general. One way or another, I found I sort of have a follow-through problem. I love to start projects but rarely finish them. One of the things I want to start doing with myself is being more consistent. I’d also like a place to gather my thoughts and maybe even share them.

Perhaps this blog will be the place.

What you will find here is a variety of subjects of interest to me personally. Some may be political, spiritual, or controversial in nature. The opinions expressed therein will be my own, or the opinion of someone else that I agree with.

So if you feel like reading, feel free to. If you don’t like what you read when you do, and you feel a strong desire to comment on my blog, know in advance that if you’re extremely rude or abusive toward myself or anyone else, your comments will be deleted.

That being said, I do like a good debate. Healthy, constructive debating is encouraged. Just not abusive behaviors.

At any rate, this should be interesting. I hope I can stick with it, and I hope you (plural) enjoy what you find here.

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Covering & Modesty

I posted this on a MBTI (INFJ) facebook group just now, when the subject of head covering came up. It came out really well and I don’t want to lose it, so I’m going to post it here for posterity. 🙂

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Oh my gosh. Brace yourselves for an insane wall of text!

TL;DR version: I cover my head part time, dress modestly (so does my hubby) and we both find it great for many, many reasons!

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Some of the time, I cover my head when I’m in public (not hijab style, as I’m not Muslim and don’t want to be confused with one and/or possibly offend one). I really like to do it; I feel more feminine and beautiful, and I’ve noticed that the attitudes of men toward me changes a LOT when I do. I get more respect and a lot fewer lewd glances/comments. I haven’t decided on what kind of style I like overall, so I go back and forth over covering and only do it when the mood strikes me, as opposed to those that do so full time. Most of the time, I choose the Orthodox Jewish style of covering, because it keeps me cooler in the Florida heat.

I do dress modestly, basically without my titties hanging out everywhere. I tend to wear tops that cover my chest completely (see my profile pic), with sleeves that come down to or pass the elbow (no tank tops/spaghetti straps outside the home), and pants or long skirts that are around the ankle area. I’ve never been comfortable showing a lot of leg, and even before I started getting more modest, even when I wore shorts, I would be pretty uncomfortable if they weren’t to my knee (a la bermuda shorts).

I kind of feel like the only person that should be seeing my thighs at any point is my husband, and since I respect him and our relationship, I keep that stuff covered up. For the same reason, HE doesn’t go around with his shirt off in public anywhere (and really? Even fairly rarely at home, unless we are in bed).

A lot of people might say that my thinking is backward (especially the being modest part) and I should get with the 21st century, but I personally think that more people would be happier if they were judged on the contents of their mind over how much skin they’ve got showing.

My husband has this great saying about people who walk around immodestly (half naked, which we see a lot of here in Florida from BOTH genders): “They’re showing the only thing they’ve got.” Meaning, just skin and looks, no brains or personality. I’ll take the brains and personality over “looking hot” any day of the week.

Also, that being said, why would I want/need to look hot for anyone else besides my husband, anyways? He gets plenty of lingerie and sexytimes, but he loves that I respect our relationship enough to keep my parts sacred for him and him alone. And I’m grateful that he does the same for me (because, frankly, my husband is SUPER hot, and I get a little jealous sometimes when other women look at him!). Anyways, my point is, being modest and covering up is good for BOTH of us.

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